The Dance Between Kaleidoscopic Curiosity & Focused Ambition | Dear Alexander #41
I have often felt regret and lamentation over the seemingly ineffective busyness that has stimulated my days. This busyness usually comes in two forms:
- Completing tasks that make me feel like I’ve accomplished something when I really have just been putting off the most difficult tasks.
- My insatiable curiosity leads me to stumble upon new ideas and topics that take time away from other tasks but fulfil my soul and mind.
Busynes usually accompanies the classic A-type high conscientiousness personality that I identify with. However, I’ve realised I actually don’t want to be busy. Busyness implies a chaotic lack of control over my priorities and time. Instead, I opt to create ‘flexible deliberate control’ where my decisions are of conscious choice instead of either resentful obligation towards responsibilities I actually don’t want to do OR are as a result of the momentum of checkbox ticking tasks I convince myself are important, but really aren’t.
Another characteristic that accompanies my type of character is the want for control. However, maybe I don’t always have to control my day. It can be valuable to let go and allow the spontaneity of my curiosity take me to new horizons of discovery. And so there is a dance between effective…
