Dear Alexander #29: Bare Your Soul

“You always fix everyone else’s problems, but you don’t stay long enough to let them know your own insecurities, vulnerabilities and who you are. So you think you’re connected to all these people but they don’t feel connected to you. They just trust you can help them out.”

Be careful, that can often be you. You often guard personal vulnerabilities during a conversation to protect yourself from having to talk about yourself. You’d rather ask curious questions to make the other person feel heard. What you’ve done is created a one way street of emotional imbalance — you may know someone, but do you know you?

They know they can turn to you when they enter a dark place, but do they know you can turn to them? Do YOU even know you can turn to others? Can you be courageous enough to expose the darker more revealing parts of yourself to create deeper more fulfilling personal relationships? Who knows, maybe bearing your own soul can facilitate someone else to do the same.

What happens when you enter that dark cave? Who will you turn to? No one does it all on their own. Your ego likes to say that you can do it all on your own, but in reality, you are not you without others moulding you into who you are. There is no escaping influence and help from others. Even when your totally isolated and by yourself, your mind will reach into that cookie jar of past traumas and inspiration from others that will give you that hand to get you out of the cave.

People need people. The deeper connections you can cultivate with others the more fulfilling and rewarding your life will be. So sit down and take time to engage with people to show them who you are by expressing what makes you hesitant and uncomfortable. As you are attempting to do here…

Self reflective writings & book summaries on philosophy, psychology and human behaviour. youtube.com/emmanualalexander

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