Dear Alexander #27: Judging Others

You don’t need to deploy your thesis on how to live onto others just because you see they’re not living your version of an ‘optimal life’. Just because someone doesn’t have similar standards to you, doesn’t mean they haven’t attained their own success, meaning and fulfilment. Consider where they used to be to get a perspective on how far they’ve come, maybe you’re only seeing a small snapshot of what has been a long period of growth.

Placing blunt judgements on someone can either be the harsh truth someone need’s to hear, or a dissuading demotivation that strokes your own ego. Be thoughtful and look at yourself first. Some of your judgements come from ego and some come from a genuine want to see the other person fulfil their potential. It’s a delicate tightrope walk in both cases between the chasm of narcism-feeling like your better than someone else and the chasm that reaches out the hand and lift someone’s Being up.

Long Term Self-Destruction or a Competitive Edge?

When I originally drafted this in 2018 I thought this was the answer:

Let empathy, understanding and optimism drive you to make yourself better, don’t worry about what anyone else is doing. Lead by example and if they want help they’ll put their hand out or follow the standard of excellence you lead your life by. Stop judging. Just live.

I don’t know if this is still the right answer for me, but it’s a good start.

I no longer write comments on other people’s YouTube video but years ago when I used to I received an insightful comment by a random stranger.

Self reflective writings & book summaries on philosophy, psychology and human behaviour. youtube.com/emmanualalexander

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