Dear Alexander #016: The Problem Is With You, NOT Them…
When emotional volatility spurs itself in the form of chaotic emotions such as frustration, or anger, remember this:
“The question to ask is not, ‘What’s wrong with this person?’ but ‘What does this irritation tell me about myself?’” — Anthony de Mello
It is up to you to take onus of your emotions and feelings.
It is NOT his/her fault.
He/she did NOT cause you to feel this way.
“We are complicit in the offence anytime someone hurts our feelings or makes us upset. The irritant is almost never the person, it’s something within you.”
Remember: To blame others is to foist responsibility onto another and give the power and autonomy of your life away. Once this is done, you lose a slither of control over your being, and life. Day by day this slither grows and eventually turns into a waterfall of emotion that consumes people. But that won’t be you. Your life is too important to grant others control over it.
Let any emotion that arises be like a mirror that reflects upon you. Not because you’re trying to take the moral high-ground and feel superior. But because you NEED to be better. Not just for your own well being, but more importantly, for the people you come in contact with. There’s enough chaos and disillusion in people’s lives. If you can make your muddy water clear through honest self reflection, maybe other’s will be able to see their reflection clearer too.