Be Kind Over Being Right | Dear Alexander #038

“When you’re given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.”

I used to be the opposite. I would value telling the truth and ‘being right’ above the feelings of others. I would project my version of reality onto others like I knew what was best for them. I was really trying to get people to be more like me because I thought I ‘figured it out’.

Throughout my adolescence I felt like I had little control over my circumstances, I treated myself as a victim. To regain some feeling of control I would attempt to dictate the thoughts and actions of others in an effort exert control over my own reality.

I thought I could fix peoples problems with the information I had gathered. Then I realised I was wrong. I continually realise this. I began to discover that the value of kindness far supersedes being right and that I don't always have to say what I think.

I’m learning that when someone is in pain they don’t always need to hear the truth. They often just need to be heard…that is being kind.

Reversal

People can take advantage of kindness. They can take advantage of it to seek further comfort and create an environment where they no longer feel they need to change anything about themselves because they have a bubble of safe kindness of protection around them. So they are never forced to face the reality of their insecurities and weaknesses. Know when to deploy compassionate kindness, and know when to deploy compassionate truth that holds a mirror up to peoples bull shit.

Self reflective writings & book summaries on philosophy, psychology and human behaviour. youtube.com/emmanualalexander

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